fbpx

Samantha_Geballe_02

Samantha_Geballe_07

Samantha_Geballe_10

“This is not another fat kid’s story,” the Los Angeles-based photographer Samantha Geballe cautions. In Self-Untitled, she photographs her body over two years. The ongoing narrative is cleaved carefully into two phases, a before and after that run along and at times overlap the murky and ambiguous line marked by a gastric bypass part way through. Self-Untitled is, as Geballe suggests, a series that defies easy answers, a tale in which agony and courage, isolation and redemption, become commingled.

Geballe began taking self-portraits out of necessity; she was reluctant to ask others to give their time, so she became her own constant subject. Initially, her shots served to envision what she imagined the external world saw in her. Making images was a way of enduring and of surviving.

At around the time she underwent the gastric bypass, Geballe’s process changed. Shedding pounds, at first, frightened her; she felt naked and exposed. She went numb, her thoughts choked before they could begin to take shape. It was arduous to continue shooting the series, and at times, all she wanted was to be alone and without the camera. It took a few months for the cloud to lift, but now the photographer relishes the possibility for change.

The photographer admits that, with time, she has discovered the power and beauty of her body. Looking back, she mentions that the project has forced her to see herself truly for the first time, to recognize her unhappiness and to leave it behind.  “It was the first time seeing a photo I had taken of myself and thinking it was beautiful,” she remembers of one of the pictures.

She criticizes herself less now, and she continues to capture her journey both in her own home and at her grandparents’ in Northern California, where she is enveloped and secluded by forest. “The most rewarding thing has been waking up. I have woken up from the denial regarding my eating disorder and weight to newfound gratitude and focus in my life,” she says.

Samantha_Geballe_01

Samantha_Geballe_03

Samantha_Geballe_04

Samantha_Geballe_05

Samantha_Geballe_08

Samantha_Geballe_06

Samantha_Geballe_11

Samantha_Geballe_09

Samantha_Geballe_12

Samantha_Geballe_13

Samantha_Geballe_14

Samantha_Geballe_15

Samantha_Geballe_16

Samantha_Geballe_17

All images © Samantha Geballe

via aCurator

Discover More

Give a Print
Receive a Print
Receive a print